REACH (Telegram) 46 - What are your views on the guidelines? Do you feel that they will be effective in promoting healthier relationships between parents and their children?
(SK)
06 Dec 2024 (10am - 7pm)
REACH (Telegram)
REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 9:56 AM]
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REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 10:00 AM]
๐ขTopic๐ข
The Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) and KidStart came up with a new set of guidelines spelling out appropriate boundaries in daily caregiving between parents and children in areas such as expressing affection, privacy and toileting. Minister of State for Social and Family Development, Sun Xueling, announced the guidelines on Nov 7 at the Asian Family Conference.
Kidstart, a non-profit organisation, specialises in supporting families in early childhood development.
The guidelines were developed as a tool for professionals in the early childhood, education, social service and healthcare sectors, to coach parents on setting healthy boundaries and practices. They come in the wake of the rising number of child abuse cases, as detailed in the Domestic Violence Trends report released by the MSF in September.
๐ฌ What are your views on the guidelines? Do you feel that they will be effective in promoting healthier relationships between parents and their children?
๐ Inappropriate boundaries and abusive behavior
According to Ms Yogeswari Munisamy, senior principal social worker at the MSF’s Child Protective Service, inappropriate boundaries within families can, in some cases, escalate into abusive behaviour over time. She added that research has shown that violations of such boundaries can lead to confusion and distress for the child, which may normalise inappropriate behaviour and increase the risk of abuse.
๐ Examples of guidelines on healthy family boundaries
Expression of affection
It is inappropriate for parents to force their child to hug or kiss someone the child is fearful of or uncomfortable with. Instead, parents should respect the child’s right to say “no” to physical affection. This teaches children autonomy and empowers them to set personal boundaries.
Bathing practices
It is inappropriate for parents to bathe their child of the opposite gender or bathe together with their child regularly if the child can bathe independently. Parents should encourage the child to bathe independently as soon as he or she can. If the child requires help, it is more appropriate for a parent of the same gender to assist or supervise the child, until his or her early primary school years
Exposure to nudity
It is considered inappropriate behaviour for parents to expose their nude bodies to their children, even inadvertently. Parents should avoid changing in front of their children by the time the child is in upper primary school or puberty, whichever is earlier. Caregivers of the opposite gender should also avoid changing clothes in front of their child.
๐https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/new-msf-guidelines-for-appropriate-caregiving-boundaries-between-parents-and-children
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Daniel, [6/12/2024 10:01 AM]
These guidelines seem appropriate and useful (as a parent of young children)
REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 11:01 AM]
[ Poll : The guidelines on healthy family boundaries are useful in developing healthier relationships between parents and their children. Please elaborate on your views in the chat. ]
- Yes
- Unsure
- No
Jun Ming, [6/12/2024 11:24 AM]
A suggestion to reach: maybe can include the guidelines pdf directly from government
Jun Ming, [6/12/2024 11:25 AM]
Instead just provide secondary sources from the news
G, [6/12/2024 11:34 AM]
Unsolicited govt interference in people's homes.
Why this 4G PAP feel that there's a need to stick their noses into people homes?
Might as well install govt CCTVs in every HDB room (inc toilets) as part of standard BTO offering to pipe footage to MSF
G, [6/12/2024 11:34 AM]
Gross govt overreach
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 11:35 AM]
Although I agree that establishing boundaries would be beneficial for a child's growth. The main problem comes down to enforcement.
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 11:36 AM]
How would the government ensure such boundaries are sustained especially in the enclosed walls of a family's household?
speedperry ่็, [6/12/2024 11:45 AM]
I felt the guidelines are 1) not enforceable; probably why it's a guideline 2) intended protection group are the children who unfortunately won't be reading news so the target audience is unlikely to be reached through this channel.
If this guideline were to work, it must be discussion in pre-schools to children, and in Pri schools.
I appreaciate this to be a guideline and it is in line with our home practice.
G, [6/12/2024 11:45 AM]
Why even establish such guidelines?
This is rolling back the years to the 80s and LKY's toying with eugenics (graduates marry graduates)
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 11:46 AM]
Please explain how enforcing healthy boundaries for the child's sake is akin to eugenics
G, [6/12/2024 11:54 AM]
Both are gross govt overreach.
Interfering in the people's homes
Steven Ong, [6/12/2024 12:02 PM]
While the guidelines serve as good suggestions, at the end of the day, every families have their own set of values. It may be good to use these 'suggestions' for education purposes in family services centres for outreach and public education workshops or events. To impose onto families will be challenging..
G, [6/12/2024 12:10 PM]
"Inappropriate boundaries and abusive behaviour"
Very rich subtitle.
This 4G PAP govt is inappropriately extending it's boundaries into people's homes, bedrooms, and bathrooms.
How is this not abusive behaviour from the 4G PAP?
Nicholas, [6/12/2024 12:12 PM]
Good to have a standard set of guidelines that the professionals can refer to. However given an imperfect world, these would need to be adapted based on circumstances. For example, in many cases, there may not be a man available to bathe the boy, so the mother or grandmother does it and that should be fine.
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 12:33 PM]
I personally find your comparison disingenuous, I believe there is nothing wrong with trying to increase the standards of a child’s mental wellbeing
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 12:34 PM]
The government should have, to a certain extent only, the right to enforce rules on a household
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 12:35 PM]
It is simply an extension of a governments responsibility of social services
Daniel, [6/12/2024 12:41 PM]
I believe these are guidelines only, noone going into your house to enforce it.
G, [6/12/2024 12:41 PM]
Sounds communist to me, in the guise of "help"
G, [6/12/2024 12:43 PM]
Sounds very much a step towards gestapo / kempeitai
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 12:44 PM]
Then on the flipside would you rather the government do not enforce family welfare?
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 12:44 PM]
As in, allow for domestic abuse to run rampant?
G, [6/12/2024 12:44 PM]
Raising child's mental wellbeing is always good. How this govt is trying to achieve it is not good
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 12:50 PM]
I see, I’m glad we have that common understanding
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 12:51 PM]
And I do agree enforcements for these policies is the most difficult part
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 12:52 PM]
So how would you suggest enforcement for such guidelines?
G, [6/12/2024 12:57 PM]
The main question then:
Why should such guidelines come from the govt?
G, [6/12/2024 12:58 PM]
Then don't even bring it up... Wasn't this the argument used for 377A to be abolished?
Daniel, [6/12/2024 1:00 PM]
To inform parents? When I was a new parent I was very happy to have guidelines and information from the Government on milk powder and baby nutrition. Saved me a lot of money and headache.
G, [6/12/2024 1:04 PM]
Where did you get this guideline and information from? How was this disseminated?
How is this similar to govt overreach that's what MSF is putting forth?
Daniel, [6/12/2024 1:08 PM]
At the hospital, brochures at the polyclinic, sent to SMS, in the newspaper... how is this different?
G, [6/12/2024 1:21 PM]
Products vs behaviours
TreasureHunter, [6/12/2024 1:29 PM]
Not convinced why this guideline can promote healthy relationship. Perhaps need to provide more data points what adverse effects when guidelines are not followed. Then it can be a good reference point, and be introduced in pre martial or parenting workshops.
REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 2:01 PM]
๐ขTopic๐ข
Jun Ming, [6/12/2024 2:07 PM]
Guidelines is just guidelines. It's not law
Jun Ming, [6/12/2024 2:09 PM]
I am not a parent or parent to be but... I think in kindergarten there should have more boundaries in using toilet
Jun Ming, [6/12/2024 2:11 PM]
There should have male toilets and female toilets in kindergarten
Jun Ming, [6/12/2024 2:12 PM]
Not sure if it is a requirement now
Daniel, [6/12/2024 2:12 PM]
I think that's the norm already. Showering rooms also separate.
Jun Ming, [6/12/2024 2:13 PM]
That's good
REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 3:51 PM]
Dear Contributors,
We want to HEAR MORE from you!
๐ฌ What are your views on the guidelines? Do you feel that they will be effective in promoting healthier relationships between parents and their children?
We have had good feedback from this group, and we hope that we can keep the discussion robust and active!
Do also share your opinion by participating in our polls! The poll questions are pinned for easy reference, and your vote is anonymous.
Thank you!
Megan ๐
REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 4:01 PM]
๐ขTopic๐ข
LCL (Danny ๅฟ), [6/12/2024 4:03 PM]
1. Parenting is not an easy job and most of the time, depends on trial and error and knowledge brought down by our parents or grandparents.
2. The methods of bringing up the children could have a long term effect on the children.
3. Hence if there are appropriate guidelines from children upbringing from professionals - I thought it is beneficial for parents to read and adopt for the benefits of the children.
4. Reading through the guidelines, I thought it is a sensible things to do - the guidelines make sense - and at the same time inculcate independency of the children.
LCL (Danny ๅฟ), [6/12/2024 4:17 PM]
1. The mental and psychological aspects of children cannot be underestimated.
2. Because if carelessness lead to children being abused sexually, physically or mentally by strangers - it will affect the psychological health of the children when growing up.
3. Most of the children are fortunately being taken care off well during their development stages.
4. But there could be some unfortunate ones - and the guidelines will bring awareness to the public - and make new parents more aware about the risks involved.
5. This will help new parents to be more mindful in handling their children so as not to succumb to pitfalls that can be avoided - and bring up their happy and healthy children.
REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 4:37 PM]
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G, [6/12/2024 5:23 PM]
So what's next for govt overreach? Already pushing to control bank accounts, now this..
Guidelines on the best time to brush teeth?
Jo Teo already said don't need a lot of space to have sex, so are follow up guidelines gonna be shared on which positions in tight spaces are the best for conceiving?
Will guidelines also be shared on morning routines for how to share 2 toilets for a family of 6 (2 grandparents, 2 parents, and 2 kids) so that all can get to work/school on time?
Will guidelines salad be shared on what's the optimum interval to change underwear?
Hanny, [6/12/2024 6:00 PM]
I’m just wondering what is it that makes gov come up with this ruling?
LCL (Danny ๅฟ), [6/12/2024 6:01 PM]
More reported child abuse cases.
LCL (Danny ๅฟ), [6/12/2024 6:02 PM]
Not ruling.
But guidelines to bring awareness to parents and caregivers, to help cut down child abuses.
LCL (Danny ๅฟ), [6/12/2024 6:04 PM]
Those who think the guidelines are useful, can read and adopt for the good of their children.
Those who find them not useful, no need to read.
They are just guidelines - parenting tips.
Not ruling.
LCL (Danny ๅฟ), [6/12/2024 6:19 PM]
Also MSF handle alot of social welfare cases - many child abuse cases detected.
LCL (Danny ๅฟ), [6/12/2024 6:21 PM]
The number of new Tier 1 child abuse cases, defined as those with low to moderate safety and risk concerns, rose 17 per cent from 2,377 in 2021 to 2,787 in 2023. (https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/less-serious-child-abuse-cases-in-singapore-on-the-rise-inaugural-report-on-family-violence)
Source :- Straits Times
Dr. Goh, [6/12/2024 6:25 PM]
Seen MSF cover up. It is definitely not fit to interfere in any family matters. Cover up for child abuse, helping child abusers, refusing to admit the truth. Sun Xueling should quit.
Jerome Then, [6/12/2024 6:37 PM]
???????????? Buddy what please cite source
LCL (Danny ๅฟ), [6/12/2024 6:43 PM]
Good! more fact check and balance.
REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 6:44 PM]
Dear Contributors,
⏰ We will be closing the chat in 15 minutes ⏰
Thank you very much for being part of our Telegram chat and participating actively.
Goodnight!
Megan ๐
REACH Singapore, [6/12/2024 6:59 PM]
Dear Contributors
We will be closing the chat for today.
Thank you very much for being part of our Telegram chat and participating actively.
Goodnight!
Megan ๐
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